[But being an asshole is so easy. Just as easy as denying anything is wrong, as easy as being cruel and goading someone else into being cruel, too. Because that's easier to take, he can understand that. He doesn't understand why the older man continues to care about him instead.
But he does, somehow. Eiri asked him to come (if you can call buying a plane ticket for someone "asking"), and he did. In a matter of minutes, Eiri has tried to both pull him in and push him away, and he hasn't just turned around and walked out and said to hell with this. Not yet, anyway. So don't give him a reason to. He has to hold his tongue for several silent minutes; he can't lash out, he needs to take his scolding. He needs him here.]
...Sorry. [It's a tough word to manage, one he can't often dredge up. He keeps his gaze turned away, though. He doesn't want to look at him again until he's sure his eyes aren't proclaiming that he's on the edge of a complete mental breakdown.
He'd hoped that from the moment Yokozawa arrived, his presence would be enough of a distraction for him to completely ignore his problems, but that's going to be impossible here. So fine, the man can't magically erase the darkness inside of him, but if he can accept it...that's something, then, isn't it?
He takes a drink of his beer, tries to relax the tightness in his chest before finally glancing back at him. To just anyone, the twist in his lips would probably only appear to be mild irritation, but there's an apology there, for someone who'd know to look for it.] The doc changed my meds before I left. They're shit.
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But he does, somehow. Eiri asked him to come (if you can call buying a plane ticket for someone "asking"), and he did. In a matter of minutes, Eiri has tried to both pull him in and push him away, and he hasn't just turned around and walked out and said to hell with this. Not yet, anyway. So don't give him a reason to. He has to hold his tongue for several silent minutes; he can't lash out, he needs to take his scolding. He needs him here.]
...Sorry. [It's a tough word to manage, one he can't often dredge up. He keeps his gaze turned away, though. He doesn't want to look at him again until he's sure his eyes aren't proclaiming that he's on the edge of a complete mental breakdown.
He'd hoped that from the moment Yokozawa arrived, his presence would be enough of a distraction for him to completely ignore his problems, but that's going to be impossible here. So fine, the man can't magically erase the darkness inside of him, but if he can accept it...that's something, then, isn't it?
He takes a drink of his beer, tries to relax the tightness in his chest before finally glancing back at him. To just anyone, the twist in his lips would probably only appear to be mild irritation, but there's an apology there, for someone who'd know to look for it.] The doc changed my meds before I left. They're shit.